for sale by owner listing photo

Man Confident These Shitty Photos Will Sell His House

San Antonio, TX – Blithely unaware that the dimly lit and off-kilter photos he had taken of his home for sale were in fact incredibly shitty, 39-year-old Bryan Carter began uploading them to the listing site Zillow.

“Yep, that ought to do the trick,” said the self-satisfied Carter, as he admired a blurry picture of his kitchen sink that he planned to use as the feature image for his for-sale-by-owner listing.

“Definitely glad I’m doing this myself instead of using an agent” he said confidently.

Sitting back and admiring his computer screen, which displayed photo after photo of bare olive-drab walls, the self-assured first-time seller was certain he could get at least 10% above asking price.

“This one’s a bit awkward,” he admitted, pointing to a photo of the mirror in the master bedroom in which you could clearly see Carter’s right arm and his iPhone 6 Plus. “But at least I also got the ceiling fan in the shot.”

At press time, Carter had started typing a description of his home, which was sure to be filled with egregious grammatical errors.

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